To FiGhT or to FlEe

Hols in Malaysia...

2006-02-12T22:06:00.000-08:00

Times here are not bad.. EVeryday is a hol. Have a nice time here.. the 1st day with GY.. haha.. but before that on thurs i went out with GY and CL.. We had a nice time shopping.. quite amazed by the fact that CL actually has an online shop selling necklaces and braclets.. She has a good creative mind to come out with such stuff.. we even took some nice photos but the setting a bit out, coz it's in douby ghaut.. Haa.. She has quite a nice laugh when i told her my army stories.. I'm beginning to like her smile.. so delicate and gentle.. It amazes me that she's learning quite a few stuff.. Jap, French, Piano and ... she really simply doing all those stuff to forget abt MAT.. It's tough for her.. I think she needs tie. GY in the mean time is doing a lot of stuff to get me and CL together.. Hope we do come together but many ppl say its impossible..

And there's SM.. The malaysuia one.. WE eaten together with the presence of my cousin and XJ.. they are really bullying me with a lot of stuff.. telling lies to lie to me.. That's evil;.. i gave both of them choc and SM is so touched that she cry on the spot.. It really stuns me but lest i feel very much appreciated.. so is XJ but i'm not so concern abt her though.. XJ is smart but too bad she's not so academically inclined.. THey eaten so much of my dinner.. makes me hungry for the night.. haiz..

So much so much to say..

2006-01-29T09:03:00.000-08:00

Haha.. It's has already been quite a while since i update my blog. so much things has happened over the past weeks.. Abt me and her, abt me and CL and now another person seems to appear all ot of a sudden.. So much so that i myself dun believe wat am i thinking..

She and I had a talk.. I spoke very frankly to her that i do love her.. I tel her abt the situation i'm in.. Going for activation, a bad family in poor financial hrealth, my list of bad luck.. It's so hard to believe that i can be so unfortunate.. How can all these happened to oonly a person, ME who is usualy so lucky and cheerful. During the time we talk on the sky garden, my feeling is real bad.. How i wish i could hug her in my arms and let me lean on her shoulders to cry or sob upon but our r/s seem too too too weird and distant.. We are drifting further and furtheer and furtheeeeer.... But I still manage to come into an agreement with her, which is to give me one more chance after she broke up with the gut.. Hopefully we can start again... Think i'm so stupid but i just can't help it at times..

Then there's CL.. I find her so funny lor.. I dunno why whenever i receive her msg, I'm so happy.. Maybe i really didn't recieve her msg often and all her msgs seem to delight me.. I really hope to go out with her and really see her..i got a feeling that she will be a very reliable partner for me in my life.. She's so sweet and she praises me, like being sweet and nice.. The feeling is fantastic when you feel that u're appreciated.. But i guess she still needs time to heal.. Her heart is broken and shattered but hopefully i'll try to mend it for her.. I think i'm slowly liking her.. Slowly and slowly but i know neither of us is ready.. Maybe i'm too rush to look for a rebound to fill up the vacuum left by the gal i love when she leaves me..

Chinese New Year Eve is fantastic.. I've it in malaysia with great fireworks and playing of firecrackers.. Haha.. How many ppl can actually play that in Singapore lor.. Haha.. And i see the bf of my cousin jiali.. He's a jap.. I'm so stunned to see this stranger in my hse on the sofa.. He looks like a chinese but i just feel so weird.. He seems to be a nice guy with so many kids clustering ard him.. Hope she treat my cousin well lor.. How come she change bf and only till now then i know.. Her previous bf broke up with her but i dunno why.. Are ppl nowadays so fickle-minded? I really tot over this qn a many times but i sun seem to get the answer.. And i met this gal who is my cousin's fren.. Her name is SM.. Oh.. She dun look pretty but she certaily looks pure and she is very very lady like.. She seems to be a nice gal.. I dunno why but i can't stop thinking of her, even till now.. I rweally wanna get close to her and know her more.. I want to be her BF but it' s just so wrong.. It's so rush of me to do that.. I really need to think thru all these slowly.. Who i actually like or is CL and SM all gals that i wanna use to replace her.. Haiz..

Sth happy now.. I won sop much in a gamble session.. I win like 40+ althugh i lost quite a lot at start.. haha.. Looks like i'm finally dbeing lucky again.. Smilez...

Sad sad sad...

2006-01-14T13:48:00.000-08:00

Haiz.. the gal i love is attached.. can't believe things between us change so quickly.. A moment we are acting like a couple and now she's attached.. can't really acept it.. i wanna acold her and leave her dor good but my heart iis always having second tots abt it.. i dunno is she really happy with the guy anot as now i provide her needs.. I still love her but this must stop or i'll be suffering.. Get scolded by lih fen for being still so madly in love with her.. I can't help it.. i really want to see her and hold her hands again but it's so far fetched..

There's another gal i'll like to see is CL. She is so sad nowadays after she broke up with her bf. i wanna heal her and let her feel that life is still colourful and full of fun, but how can i do that when my heart is just as sad as hers, if not worst.. her birthday is oming and i'll like to make it specil for her. till now still lack of ideas.. But i promise to make it nice.. Actually got an idea ut it's a bit stupid.. hehe..

Swimming...

2005-12-28T03:18:00.000-08:00

Haha.. Today i fill that i have done myself proud by swimming more than 9 laps.. That's like triple the times i used to swim.. Haha.. Hopefully one day i can swim better than Lih Fen, who she claims she so damn good at it.. Haha..

And I play Fables too.. A nice game.. Hope that my ex and i can talk tonight.. Start missing her voice and company..

Problems from the Inside and the Outside...

2005-12-27T04:36:00.000-08:00

Haiz.. Really miss her esp when she went to a church camp.. Feel like talking to her but i know she'll be busy.. Wonder how she's doing.. The desire to be with her is there and i'll still like to be her support.. Hopefully one day she'll be moved.. Just feel that she's perfect other than being quite fickle-minded.. Think she still dunno wat she really wants.. Dun think sh will be the right guy for him as he dun suits her at all. She needs some one better, or shld i say suits her more..

As for Lih Fen, it's an external problem.. We have more or less decided on going for a backpack trop when her bf is overseas but dunnno how to tell her bf.. Her bf is so possessive and hostile, esp when my name is mention.. Needs to think of a solution that most preferably can tell her bf b4 we went overseas.. I'm afraid that he'll just blow up like a stick of PE.. If i really have such a partner, i'll just break up, can't stand such a person and imagine i'll be living wif her for more than half of my life, it'll be hell.. Can't possibly tell LihFen this.. Haha.. Quick Jon Law, think thionk think..

Haiz..

Christmas Night..

2005-12-26T02:17:00.000-08:00

Wat a day..!!! I actually drank one bottle of vodka all by myself on christmas night. I spend the night with my wonderful Lif Fen.. She wore till so pretty and sexy.. Because we intend to go clubbing.. BUt things took up an unexpected turn..

WE watched kong in the afternoon and although it's long it's still rather enjoyable.. But the ending is so sad that we ended up with teary eyes and no longer in a mood to club, but nonetheless the night still turn out to be happening. We bought vodka and sopme food so that i can fried at my house.. We eat to our fill with nuggets, sotong balls and dessert. Togehter with vodka and a nice show, we spent our christmas night together at my house.. My mum was rather annoyed by the fact that she came my hse but it didn't matter as we still enjoyed ourselves tremendously.. haha.. Oh.. Miss out sth.. Lih Fen even went back to her house to take her specs at 11 so that she can come and stay over at my hse.. Haha..

I argue over some stuff with my ex today.. Over some movies that i wanna watch but she says that all of it is reserved for sh.. I'm pissed and i feel that she seldom think of me and put me very low in priority.. She says that i'm demanding but i think it's the other way round, at least my fren feels the same way too.. Why should my ex and i always quarrel over such stuff..? Is it really my fault..? She says that i like scolding her, and it hurts me a lot.. She is the very last gal that i'll like to quarrel with.. For she's the gal i love and it pains me whenever we quarrel. It takes a long time to heal..

Happy Christmas, Everyone...

2005-12-24T18:27:00.000-08:00

Wah.. Just standby finish and return home.. Sucks lor.. Ppl countdown at somewhere happening, like Sentosa or Orchard or Clark Quay, but i countdown in CAMP. Army BARRACKS. What can be worse than that...?!

I hate the security system of the military comps, can't even let me write stuff in my blog. Super bored. Luckily there's the always present Lih Fen to always so willing to let me disturb and there's the gal I love, in which i can talk to..

She complained to me abt the guy she like.. Saying how he gave her a rather cold shoulder, and say abt me treating her well.. Haiz.. She stating the obvious lor.. How can a guy treat some one he loves badly..? Can't be, right..? I wanted to tell her i'm willing to change my bad temper to be with her, to change myself a bit, in return for her understanding and compromisation. But i know it will only add to her pressure that she's facing.. I hope to tell her that one day, that i still love her.. But now is still not the time..

She still tells me that some one saw us going out together on 23 dec.. I wonder how she is taking it.. hopefully she takes it with a pinch of salt, although according to what i know, she'll find it difficult..

For now, i'm quite sure i will still like to see her smiling face and her cheeky laughter than a sad face.. Haha.. Smile Sweetie.. Smile Jon Law..

On the eve of christmas eve...

2005-12-23T08:00:00.000-08:00

Went out with a gal that i love today.. She's my ex and she looks beautiful no matter how many times i see her..

Wat an enjoyable night, that we got to shop for frens' christmas gifts and to eat sushi and finally i send her home..

Sounds usual and not out of the norm but after not seeing her for so long has make me appreciate all these time that we have togehter.. They are all such sweet memories tat it seems to be so hard to forget.. I have been loving her for so long but she's still in love with other guys that she met..

It feels terrible but i hope that God can give me the strength to let me fight a little longer for wat i hold so dear to me.. I think she's the perfect gal for me for i enjoy all the moments we have together.. How i HOPE we can be together again....

Intro to My Title... My Blog...

2005-12-23T07:51:00.000-08:00

Wat a strange title..
I feel life so far has been full of choices and they are hard to make..
Ok.. You make a wrong turn at a crossroad of ur life, so are you going to give in to it, which is to flee and escape or should you stay and fight till you get it right..?
Haiz..